Warm, funny and wise, Mrs. Groff's Mischievous Book of Motherhood Management offers an irresistible voice for our time. Packed with a treasure trove of fascinating new information about the female parent commonly known as "mother"—and a multitude of hints, facts, cheats, ideas and curiosities—it champions common sense and skewers nonsense at every turn. Includes 20 great gifts for a new mother (a voucher for a hair appointment plus babysitter, a children's birthday cake cookbook), tips for the first week back at work (take a large box of tissues—you will be weepy, but it will pass), home safety tips (run cold water through the tap after running a bath to cool the hot faucet), how to track Santa (NORAD! North American Aerospace Defense Command), and such Christmas tips as how to overcome the current orgy of greed and materialism (inform children that they will definitely receive something they want for Christmas, but will receive fewer presents this year because your family will be donating to an organization that takes care of people or animals).